One thing that i've been meaning to talk about is the fact (and this terrifyed me) that after my first football game. After playing in the bleachers. I don't actually PLAY football, I play piccolo.
ANYWAYS there's this girl and her name is Ally, shes one of my close uperclassmen friends, (we shared a dorm together during band camp) I was goofing off with her, being super extra girly, when it hit me... BAM just like that. My heart grew ten times, my cheeks flushed, and I wanted to kiss her. Right then and there.
I hid it of course, I got on that bus and drew into myself before anyone could notice anything different about me. Like the fact that I really wanted to kiss a girl.. I'M A GIRL!!!
No, I don't exactly really feel that way now, but I can still recall that feeling. It was... well it was an amazing feeling! Like falling in love!! It would have been perfect if it werent for the fact that it scared me to death! I just... couldn't wrap my mind around the idea that I suddenly wanted a girlfriend.
I've pushed that feeling away to the deepest corners of my mind, and it's deffinitly not going to happen, but I started to wonder, 'Do I like girls more then I like boys?' Even if I did, there's no way I would (I don't know how to describe it so here,) give into that want.
Do you have any idea what crap I would have to put up with if I did? I don't like not fitting in, and the fact that I even thought about that for a second... It really scares me :( I'm not going to let myself feel that way, but, what if I only feel that sort of way around girls?
I, personally, think that guys just don't care about us girls. I mean if I were that way then I would have someone that truly understood me. I've seen a couple, like that, and they were absoutly adorible! These thoughts keep creeping back into my mind, and they really make me question myself.
My boyfriend kissed me on the cheek, and I want to kiss Ally. *smacks forhead* I've always had an easier time hanging out with guys too 0_0 I don't know what to think really. I'm just going to give it time... But.. Advice??? Please????????
~Rose
ANYWAYS there's this girl and her name is Ally, shes one of my close uperclassmen friends, (we shared a dorm together during band camp) I was goofing off with her, being super extra girly, when it hit me... BAM just like that. My heart grew ten times, my cheeks flushed, and I wanted to kiss her. Right then and there.
I hid it of course, I got on that bus and drew into myself before anyone could notice anything different about me. Like the fact that I really wanted to kiss a girl.. I'M A GIRL!!!
No, I don't exactly really feel that way now, but I can still recall that feeling. It was... well it was an amazing feeling! Like falling in love!! It would have been perfect if it werent for the fact that it scared me to death! I just... couldn't wrap my mind around the idea that I suddenly wanted a girlfriend.
I've pushed that feeling away to the deepest corners of my mind, and it's deffinitly not going to happen, but I started to wonder, 'Do I like girls more then I like boys?' Even if I did, there's no way I would (I don't know how to describe it so here,) give into that want.
Do you have any idea what crap I would have to put up with if I did? I don't like not fitting in, and the fact that I even thought about that for a second... It really scares me :( I'm not going to let myself feel that way, but, what if I only feel that sort of way around girls?
I, personally, think that guys just don't care about us girls. I mean if I were that way then I would have someone that truly understood me. I've seen a couple, like that, and they were absoutly adorible! These thoughts keep creeping back into my mind, and they really make me question myself.
My boyfriend kissed me on the cheek, and I want to kiss Ally. *smacks forhead* I've always had an easier time hanging out with guys too 0_0 I don't know what to think really. I'm just going to give it time... But.. Advice??? Please????????
~Rose
It's not bad to like girls. Who cares if you're made fun of?! It's sad that people make fun of others for liking the same gender. I mean, to tell you the truth I like girls a lot. I've had day dreams of kissing a girl and I am a girl. It's not bad or horrible to like a girl when your a girl. I mean yeah, people will make fun of you, sometimes even your parents but it's up to you to be the true you. So, if you like girls, have a girlfriend. But make sure Alley knows you want to be more than friends. But seriously, it's okay to like a girl. I think I might even like girls more than boys.
ReplyDeleteI have a question for you, Rose: Why do you think it's bad to like who you like? You can't help it, and who's to say it's wrong? Just as long as you're not going around kissing people who don't want to be kissed. I've never felt like that, but I won't hate you for it. (: I'm pretty sure some people have problems like this all the time. I'm confident that you'll come to find what's best for you.
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