I don't know what the heck I am any more.
but what I wish I could be is dead. Like a door knob.
Sadly, that isn't going to happen. I am so SICK and TIRED of dealing with crap. What crap? God I don't know. Some of it I might even be coming up with in my head! It might not even real, but what to I know? I suffer from depression and I'm emo.
Whoops! Did I not mention that I cut myself? Oh well I do. I'm pathetic and don't diserve life. I mean, if I did then I wouldn't be having these thoughts.
I just wish that I could give my life to some little kid who's dying of cancer. THEY have a right to live. Those kids are often the strongest people out there, and since I don't have any money... I wish I could give them my life.
Now that's an idea... If I did go through with suicide then I could donate my working body parts to a hosbitle and some kids will be able to life because of my sacrifice.
I wish I was strong enough to go through with it. I wish I was strong enough to do it for those kids, but then again, what kid would want some suicidal bitches organs in them? I know I wouldn't.
I guess I'm just going to keep on learning as much as I can about depression and suicide and phycology and stuff so that I have a better understanding as to what is going on in this scrwed up head of mine.
Untill next time (I promise there will be a next time)
~Rose
but what I wish I could be is dead. Like a door knob.
Sadly, that isn't going to happen. I am so SICK and TIRED of dealing with crap. What crap? God I don't know. Some of it I might even be coming up with in my head! It might not even real, but what to I know? I suffer from depression and I'm emo.
Whoops! Did I not mention that I cut myself? Oh well I do. I'm pathetic and don't diserve life. I mean, if I did then I wouldn't be having these thoughts.
I just wish that I could give my life to some little kid who's dying of cancer. THEY have a right to live. Those kids are often the strongest people out there, and since I don't have any money... I wish I could give them my life.
Now that's an idea... If I did go through with suicide then I could donate my working body parts to a hosbitle and some kids will be able to life because of my sacrifice.
I wish I was strong enough to go through with it. I wish I was strong enough to do it for those kids, but then again, what kid would want some suicidal bitches organs in them? I know I wouldn't.
I guess I'm just going to keep on learning as much as I can about depression and suicide and phycology and stuff so that I have a better understanding as to what is going on in this scrwed up head of mine.
Untill next time (I promise there will be a next time)
~Rose
Sometimes I feel like this too. What could I suggest? I don't know. I don't even know how I make it out of the times I feel like I can't go on. I don't know how I stop the pain. I don't know how to make the sun come out of the clouds, but somehow it always does. Sometimes, I feel like I have no control over my life. Sometimes I realize that I do.
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm depressed, it's nice to soak in it. It's nice to have a blog to post about it. But sometimes telling a journal isn't enough. You need to tell a real person about this. Maybe they'll freak out because you're emo. But I bet there's someone out there who will listen and make it so much better.
Do something you like. Listen to music. Dance. Take out your frustration on something, but please stop making that something be yourself. Can I make a suggestion? Take a block of wood, and every time you want to cut yourself, cut the wood instead. Make a deep scratch. It'll be just like a scar, but more permanent, and less painful.
Get better soon,