I wasn't going to blog about this, but since I feel so much better now, and you people are following my life, I figured 'hey, this is a pretty big step for me. I should really share it!"
So you're probably expecting this to be like omg Eli kissed me or something. Well it's not. I took the next step in the whole depression cycle! Don't understant what I'm saying? Then read on.
Alright, truth be told, I've never actually done this the right way before, but today, after a big pep-down talk to myself I decided that it's better then suicide!
You see, a while back, like end of last year back, I was really upset about not being able to go swimming with my friends. I was so upset cause I had been cooped up in my house for so long, and so sick and tired of everything that when my parents told me I couldn't go I holed up in the bathroom and cryed.
That's when I first did it. I took a pare of tweasers and dug into my left wrist. The pain helped me feel so much better! The best part was, no one expected a thing! I still have the scar, and nobody really notices it (that might be because of the watch I wear all the time...) those who do I just tell them that I got an owie from walking in the woods and they buy it!
So this time I did it right. If you need it in black and white (aka if your like me) this whole thing is about me cutting myself. (yes, I am emo... an emo that wares totally awesom cloths)
I made sure it was a lot less noticible this time. I did it high up on my left leg. (I don't really want to kill myself.. well I do it's just that I can't for my family's sake) I made sure I didn't pass the tan line I have from band and tada! I feel so much better :)
Don't worry! It's on the outside of my leg, there was no chance I would hit like a major artery or anything. like I said, I'm not going to kill myself. It's just that... wow, I didn't expect to feel this great afterwords!
I know it sounds awful, and I'll tell my new therapist about it when I feel comfterblem with him/her... You know, right after I get another therapist. Anyways, just thought y'all bloggers would like to know about that. Say what you will, but I do feel a ton better. I'll talk to y'all later
~Rose
Oh and... please don't follow my example. I'm super messed up. You don't have to be. Please. I wish the best for all of you.
So you're probably expecting this to be like omg Eli kissed me or something. Well it's not. I took the next step in the whole depression cycle! Don't understant what I'm saying? Then read on.
Alright, truth be told, I've never actually done this the right way before, but today, after a big pep-down talk to myself I decided that it's better then suicide!
You see, a while back, like end of last year back, I was really upset about not being able to go swimming with my friends. I was so upset cause I had been cooped up in my house for so long, and so sick and tired of everything that when my parents told me I couldn't go I holed up in the bathroom and cryed.
That's when I first did it. I took a pare of tweasers and dug into my left wrist. The pain helped me feel so much better! The best part was, no one expected a thing! I still have the scar, and nobody really notices it (that might be because of the watch I wear all the time...) those who do I just tell them that I got an owie from walking in the woods and they buy it!
So this time I did it right. If you need it in black and white (aka if your like me) this whole thing is about me cutting myself. (yes, I am emo... an emo that wares totally awesom cloths)
I made sure it was a lot less noticible this time. I did it high up on my left leg. (I don't really want to kill myself.. well I do it's just that I can't for my family's sake) I made sure I didn't pass the tan line I have from band and tada! I feel so much better :)
Don't worry! It's on the outside of my leg, there was no chance I would hit like a major artery or anything. like I said, I'm not going to kill myself. It's just that... wow, I didn't expect to feel this great afterwords!
I know it sounds awful, and I'll tell my new therapist about it when I feel comfterblem with him/her... You know, right after I get another therapist. Anyways, just thought y'all bloggers would like to know about that. Say what you will, but I do feel a ton better. I'll talk to y'all later
~Rose
Oh and... please don't follow my example. I'm super messed up. You don't have to be. Please. I wish the best for all of you.
hehe, :)...okay maybe this isn't funny...but I also cut myself, with my fingers. I just you know, scratch myself.....it feels so much better....gets out all the pain and anxiety i guess. I also love to go into my closet and cram myself in between the clothes, my mom won't let me do that anymore though.
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