Well I would like to cry now for many a reason. One of them being that Carol read my blog and saw the thing I wrote about Matthew (not my brother) and now she's upset because Eli loves me and I doubt him.
Now I'm upset because I really do love Eli and I wrote that :,( I really do love him. The only reasons I ever post that stuff is because I doubt myself.
I get scared that my feelings are so real and that the little fantisies that run through my mind are an actual possibility now (well most of them anyway...) I'm so freaking scared and now I'm so freaking sad and I just want to freaking become an ostrage.
Why an ostrage? What a good question! I want to be an ostrage because they bury there head in the sand! I don't do that XD nope! Not for me!! BUT!!! Alright that's that for feeling bad!!
Oh and Eli if someone ever does give you the adress to this site you have every right to slap/break up/kill me for hurting you. You don't diserve it :( and I'm sorry.
On a seprete note, I'm going to Hannah's this Sunday!!! :D WOOP WOOP!!! Unless of course my peadiatrition puts me in the hosbitle for loosing too much weight. *sigh* and that would really suck booty.
SOOOO I am going to stuff myself and get over 94 pounds by the time i go back to the Doc on thursday!!! Then I will be with my belovid sister for ONE WHOLE WEEK!!! I am FLIPPING out here people. Sumersults and EVERYTHING!!! =D
Now one more thing, Eli and I have a date at the new panara tomorrow =) I've had this dream where I lean over the table and gently kiss him on the lips... Wonder if it will come true! Probably not. I'll probably chicken out and just eat my begaul while turning a lovely shade of bright red!
Ok that's it! I feel better now =) love y'all! Thanks for reading!
~Rose
Now I'm upset because I really do love Eli and I wrote that :,( I really do love him. The only reasons I ever post that stuff is because I doubt myself.
I get scared that my feelings are so real and that the little fantisies that run through my mind are an actual possibility now (well most of them anyway...) I'm so freaking scared and now I'm so freaking sad and I just want to freaking become an ostrage.
Why an ostrage? What a good question! I want to be an ostrage because they bury there head in the sand! I don't do that XD nope! Not for me!! BUT!!! Alright that's that for feeling bad!!
Oh and Eli if someone ever does give you the adress to this site you have every right to slap/break up/kill me for hurting you. You don't diserve it :( and I'm sorry.
On a seprete note, I'm going to Hannah's this Sunday!!! :D WOOP WOOP!!! Unless of course my peadiatrition puts me in the hosbitle for loosing too much weight. *sigh* and that would really suck booty.
SOOOO I am going to stuff myself and get over 94 pounds by the time i go back to the Doc on thursday!!! Then I will be with my belovid sister for ONE WHOLE WEEK!!! I am FLIPPING out here people. Sumersults and EVERYTHING!!! =D
Now one more thing, Eli and I have a date at the new panara tomorrow =) I've had this dream where I lean over the table and gently kiss him on the lips... Wonder if it will come true! Probably not. I'll probably chicken out and just eat my begaul while turning a lovely shade of bright red!
Ok that's it! I feel better now =) love y'all! Thanks for reading!
~Rose
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